Sexual submission isn’t just extreme kink play: 23 tips for beginners
Usually, partners engaging in BDSM take on different roles — one person being the dominant partner, and the other being the submissive partner. By Laura Moses March 21, If you asked me to name three things that intimidate me off the top of my head, I'd probably say skydiving, people who are bilingual, and BDSM.
The dynamics between partners can be really complex, and being a sub can mean different things for different people. More like this.
But being a sub could be satisfying for you, too. What does it mean? And what is a sub?
Jean says, "There has to be a communication and base relationship — even if it's a friendship. What is a dom?
What gets lost is the understanding, effort, and responsibility that comes with being a Dominant, or the simultaneous control and vulnerability that comes with being a submissive. Jean says that a sub isn't necessarily powerless, unless they choose to be.
Jean says, "As a sub, I like being able to exert control and have it taken away or earned by someone else. This BDSM term is more nuanced than you might perdon.
I find that learning about a subject makes it less intimidating, so I reached out to sexpert Lola Jean to help break it all down. Skydiving because it's terrifying, people who are bilingual because they're smarter than I am, and BDSM because I honestly have no idea what it's about.
Jean says, "If I were to tell you that the submissive is the one who does what they are directed to do by the dominant, that would be incorrect and misleading. She says, "Being submissive doesn't mean they are powerless unless that is the desire of the submissive.
Pressuring a partner, or demanding that someone behave in a way that they don't feel comfortable doing is not fair in the game of sub and dom. But when it comes to further defining what being a sub means, Jean says it's not so clear-cut.
Sometimes, the best things in life require stepping outside the box.